I wanted to write a goodbye letter to you. But then I realized, you’re never leaving…
Before I became a mom, perspective was not something I was ever in too much control of. I look back in shame over some of the things that would bother or upset me. And while I appreciated and loved those around me, I never quite understood how lucky I was to have them until these past few years.
You showed me how quickly the ones you couldn’t live without can get taken from you. And now that’s something that lives heavy on my heart, but that’s ok. In a way, it’s a gift. Now, I never take for granted one little kiss, a giggle, a tickle session, a smile. There are people out there wishing and praying for half of what I’ve been blessed with. So for this realization, I thank you.
From now on, we will not live just for the weekend, or for that next vacation. We will find the beauty in each day, because you never know what each may bring.
I feel tragedy chasing me down for some reason, and I hope it is all for naught, and just par for the course after any type of loss. I guess it’s because a part of me went with you.
But now I need to move forward and decide what that loss means for our family. How will we fill it?
I’m not sure yet, but what I am sure of is that we now have two guardian angels permanently assigned to our family. How lucky are we?
We will never forget that you were here, even though it was for just a short period of time. Thank you to you and your brother for opening my eyes. Be with him, always. He needs you more than we do.
This is in loving memory of two babies I lost this year.